evannichols (evannichols) wrote,

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I'd Rather Have The Swallows...

It's not that I wasn't aware of the effects of Spring already, but today it just hit. I woke up to the familiar irritation. And sniffling. Last year it happened on March 1st, so I guess I should feel lucky that I started on the Loratadine three weeks later this year. Whee. So lucky.

All this reminded me that I often wish our biological systems had a Control Panel. Like Windows. Then I could flip the switch for “Treat Tree Pollen As An Assault Upon Our System” to “No.” There would be a lot more controls, too. For example, rather than having to shave every day, I could just push the slider for “Beard” (under the “Hair Growth” tab) to 0 and pack my electric razor away.

It would be nice to turn off the functions that cause muscles to become weaker and less flexible when not used, even though the Control Panel would display a warning message and ask “Are you sure?” But I'd say yes. There'd be other safety features, too, like not allowing the user to set the Stored Fat Amount to a value less than a healthy body-fat percentage. Or set your Heart Rate to 0 (because you know people would try it, “just to see what happens.”)

I know, it will take a long time for humans to evolve into having Control Panels. Hundreds of years, perhaps. And I'm mostly satisfied with the body I've got, and how it works. I just wish it didn't think we need to be defended so vigorously against pollen.

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