evannichols (evannichols) wrote,

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Ready... Aim... BID!

I’m really not very competitive.  Sure, I love a good game of “I’m Less Competitive Than You Are,” and I usually win.  But at Game Night, I favor rule changes that make games more fun and less about winning and losing.

The exception is eBay Perhaps this is my outlet for testosterone-based hunting and conquering instincts.  Sure, while an auction’s running, one can bid at any time, but I like waiting until the last few seconds.  It’s like sneaking up on the unwary opponent, who has become complacent from the lack of activity, and just before the prize is handed to him, I snatch it away!  My foe has no time to submit a higher bid, as the buzzer sounds* at the end of the auction, and the item is mine! BWAHAHAHAHA!  

Some eBayers object to this sniping style of bidding, but it’s well within the auction rules.  And I use it so I don’t get myself into trouble.  If I bid early in an auction, I might be the high bidder for a while.  Then one day, I notice that someone else has placed a higher bid.  “Darn them!” I think.  “I want that Official G.I. Joe  Barista Accessory Set!”  So I bid higher.  And so it goes, until my unseen enemy and I have raised our bids well beyond what the item is worth, just so the other one can’t have it.  This pleases the Seller, but for the Buyer, it is path that only leads to Broken Dreams and Regrets. 

So I’m a sniper.  I selectively choose my targets.  Giving away no sign of my interest, I watch and wait.  I line up my sights with a well-placed maximum offer.  When the time comes, I am in position, ready.  Patiently, I let the clock tick down to just the right moment. Then, with a single click, I fire off my bid. 

Sometimes I miss, and an unknown bidder in a far-off place gets the prize.  But I am good at this, so I do win.  A lot. 

And, god  help me, I really enjoy it.

*There’s no actual buzzer, but I like to imagine one.  It sounds like the horn that signals the end of a high-school basketball game.

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