evannichols (evannichols) wrote,
evannichols
evannichols

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I'd Make a Good King...

I play the lottery. I know the chances of winning aren't good. For example, the likelihood of winning the Powerball is similar to being allowed to place a small paper plate anywhere on a dry Nevada lakebed that's 5.24 square miles, in hopes that a dye pellet launched in completely random trajectory into the target area will land ON your paper plate. As I've pointed out to people, the odds of winning if you play are almost the same as the odds of winning if you don't play.

Even though I'm aware that I'm not likely to get any financial return on my dollar, I do get a lot of entertainment out of it. I like thinking about what I'd do if I had far more money than sense. Like my "Night of Joy" art project, where a huge amount of the Portland area would be illuminated by parachute flares, timed to a coordinated playing of the "Ode to Joy" by all local radio stations. Getting all the permits, insurance and materials, not to mention promoting it so everyone would know to crank up their radios at the right time, would take a lot of money. Then there's the oversized Ballistic Golf course (where one uses compressed-air mortars to launch the golf ball, not those silly clubs) or an Armored Vehicle Paintball Range (SUVs with paintball cannons!). I could probably go on, but you might start to worry.

The biggest risk to having too much money would be getting weird. I don't know if being super-rich causes one to start doing really strange things, or it just makes it so other people are willing to indulge you in your oddities and then everything gets written up in the tabloids. Either way, I don't want to drift into doing really whacked-out stuff, like buying an entire company so they'll keep making my favorite flavor of ice-cream. Or producing really lame reality-TV shows. Or insisting that Barry Manilow's "Copacabana" has to be playing constantly because if it doesn't, I'll be eaten by clowns. Stuff like that.

Actually, my favorite thing to contemplate is sharing the wealth. For example, tonight's jackpot is $210 million. No one person needs that much money. But I love the idea of splitting it up among my family and friends. I like thinking about what it would be like to tell my friends that I want to give them enough money to live on for the rest of their lives. And what we'd do if none of us had to ever go to work. And how each day we could wake up and ask ourselves, "What do we feel like doing today?" and then no matter what it was, we could go do exactly that. That's Entertainment well worth a dollar.
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