evannichols (evannichols) wrote,

  • Mood:

WARNING - Contains Bathroom Humor - WARNING

My face is all scratched up because of my housemate's bathroom habits. Okay, maybe not the SOLE reason, but you be the judge:

Our home has two bathrooms, one in the master suite, one downstairs. We all share the downstairs one, but as I don't sleep in the master suite, I use the downstairs one for showering, dressing, contact-related activities, and all the other things one does in a bathroom (you know, like "reading"). So I store the necessary things there. Now, some home-design genius decided to NOT put in a medicine cabinet over the sink; there's just a mirror. The cabinet with narrow shelves is over the toilet. You don't have to be a MENSA graduate to realize that this is a bad idea. You see, my housemates haven't lived with indoor cats.

If you're not a cat-owner, you might be saying "Huh?" Maybe you're a cat-owner, and you don't care, but when I lived with the cats, we always put the toilet seat down, so the cats wouldn't become interested in the water. Some cats only drink from the toilet, which is bad enough, but there are instances of worse things happening. Like the people who received their water bill, which was suddenly thousands of dollars. After expensively checking for major underground leaks, they discovered it was their cat. Apparently he liked to watch the water swirling down the toilet, so once everyone went to work, the cat hopped up onto the tank and would push down on the lever with his little paw, and flush. He'd watch the water, and when it stopped, he'd do it again. And again. For HOURS. The ONE cat that doesn't sleep all day, and he's flushing water down the drain. The important lesson here is that when you go to work, leave the TV remote where the cats can find it. It's much less expensive, unless they learn how to use Pay-Per-View.

So not only do I put the seat down, I put the lid down, too. Not everyone in my home does that. And a cabinet immediately above the toilet may not be a recipe for disaster, but I'll NEVER put my glasses case in my mouth, if you know what I mean.

On Friday, I was putting my electric razor back in the cabinet. It's fairly cluttered, and the razor starts sliding off the shelf, toward the yawning mouth of Mr. Commode. My swift, cat-like reflexes immediately came into play, and I lunged for it. Unfortunately, my hand-eye coordination was taking the morning off, and instead of snatching the falling razor from the air, I merely batted it against the wall. At least my reflexes allowed me to bat it several times, so it hit the wall repeatedly before it fell to the floor. I re-assembled Mr. Shaver, and he seemed fine, so I carefully put him back in the cupboard and thought nothing of it.

Then Saturday came. I was hurrying so I could get to some early-morning yard sales, and shaved rapidly. I didn't really notice anything at the time, but later, my face started feeling itchy. And lumpy, like I had mosquito bites. I checked the mirror, and saw these red scratches and welts developing. Turns out Mr. Shaver's microscreen had ONE little nick, and the sharp edge was turned upward. It was so sharp I didn't feel it gouging my face, but now I look like I had a fight with an irritable Siamese.

Now I'll have to wear my cowboy outfit when I go out, otherwise the bandanna over the lower half of my face will look weird. I'll just tell everyone it's Billy-The-Kid Day.

  • I've Decided to Attend...

    After seeing numerous discount offers, I decided to go to Portland Comic-Con, to see what it's like. I'll be going on Sunday, Jan 26th;…

  • Sunday Morning

    Sunday Morning Highlights: thrihyrne and I went for breakfast at Zell's, assembled an IKEA dresser and I showed her how to do SELECTs…

  • Cautiously Optimistic (Yet Again)

    So, we’re trying the Virgin Diet. No, it’s not what you’re thinking (a cannibalistic consumption of the pre-sexually-active,…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened