Here's the secret: On eBay, go to the category Home & Garden > Kitchen, Dining & Bar > Small Appliances > Waffle Makers. Now, most of the items for sale there are legitimate, and actually make waffles. However, the code for a monkey is "Gas powered Waffle Iron". To find out exactly what kind of monkey you're bidding on, you must email the seller asking what "Brand" the "Waffle Iron" is. He'll give you all the details. Good luck, and happy monkey buying!
If you want a Congressperson, I think they're under "Plush Toys."
(And if you take this seriously, check the date!)