evannichols (evannichols) wrote,

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"Dance! Workout With Barbie" - A Review

My thoughts on "Dance! Workout With Barbie."

I only became aware of this video because sanguinity, knowing my interest in action figures and Jennifer Love Hewitt, thought I should view her copy of it. So the following is not my fault.

You've probably already watched it, and can skip this description, but on the off chance you haven't: The product is a 25-minute workout for ages 5 and up. It begins with an introduction by a stop-motion Barbie, who later appears doing the dance moves individually, and then superimposed over the rest of the dancers. An instructor leads eight girls of varying ages through a series of low-impact dance moves. No car chases.

Okay, now here's what I noticed:
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt performs all the songs. She's like, 12 years old at the time. She also is one of the dancers, and is identified as "Love." Now, there's nothing wrong with hippie parents, but calling your child "Love" just seems problematic. For example, if she had been unjustly imprisoned, underaged protesters would stand outside the juvenile detention center with big signs that read "FREE LOVE". Imagine all the ways that could go wrong.

  • Barbie introduces the aerobics instructor as her "Special Friend Kim." I know what it means when an adult person introduces another adult person as their "Special Friend," (and I'm fine with that) but I'm not sure what to make of it when one of them is a fashion doll. I find it a little creepy.

  • And speaking of creepy, Barbie moves with the jerky animation of the skeletons from "Jason and the Argonauts." I was afraid that she'd lurch into the group of little girls and start biting their heads. After a few minutes, I kinda hoped she would, because it was getting a bit dull.

  • Special Friend Kim is probably a fine aerobics instructor, but she's just a bit too chipper for my taste. I know when one is making an instructional video, you want your cast to be upbeat and not look how people normally look when doing aerobics. Which is like they're eating high-fiber cereal. But still, people shouldn't be that cheerful doing aerobic exercise. It's not that much fun.
I confess, I fast-forwarded through most of it, once the initial terror of the Dancing Barbie wore off. They finish exercising, then all the cast gets a brief solo dance with their name displayed, which becomes the closing credits. You probably have little reason to search this video out and watch it, except to see if I'm telling the truth. Sure, I like to make stuff up, but I wouldn't lie about this. Really.
Tags: jennifer love hewitt

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