I managed to control my anticipation until
Probably-Mom: "Aren't those good sausages? You know the Pig and Pancake? I went there one time, and they had bad sausages. I couldn't believe it! That's like going to Denny's and getting bad sausages!"
(There isn't a good word for the quiet noise someone makes when suddenly surprised by a crashingly bizarre statement and desperately tries not to laugh out loud, but that's exactly the noise she made.)
After Probably-Mom returned to the kitchen, we wondered, "Can one get good sausage at Denny's?" I always thought the reasons eats at Denny's are 1) They're open all night, and 2) the food's inexpensive. I suppose I've never had bad food there; it's always been the predictable, mass-produced fare of a major chain restaurant. The food is designed to not frighten their primary customers: Old People and Partyers transitioning from Party Buzz to Morning Hangover.
After our meal, it took some effort to flag down Probably-Mom to get our check. She was apologetic, and offered this peculiar explanation: "I don't know why, but I hardly noticed you there. Next time you need to say something when you come in so I'll remember you!"
Therefore, when you go to Manzanita's Fireside Inn and you want good service, let the first thing out of your mouth be a loud "Hey! Is your daughter eighteen?" That's what I'm going to do.