evannichols (evannichols) wrote,
evannichols
evannichols

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Remembrance

You know how you see people for a segment of the day, and then they go off and continue to lead their lives? Even when you don't see them, they're doing things, often mundane things, but their stories are being spun every moment, 24 hours each day, week after week. I sometimes contemplate that, and then expand it out to the whole world, thinking about how there are about 6.7 billion lives playing out CONSTANTLY. People are eating, sleeping, working, crying, playing, falling in love, breaking up, grieving. Everything. All the time. I suppose can't quite grasp it fully, as the number of people is just too huge to really get one's mind around. But it's all happening.

I just returned from Sandy's memorial reception. She was TJ's mom. She was our real-estate agent when oh_that_jocelyn and I sold our house. Oh_That_Jocelyn and I were housesitting Sandy's place when we got engaged. Sandy lived five years after her diagnosis with breast cancer. snottygrrl, BA and I went together to the reception, and I was glad for the company. TJ was busy doing the things one does when family passes away, so we barely had a chance to talk with her. So the three of us talked together, and with the few other people in the room who we knew, our topics ranging from pleasantries to the wrenching acknowledgement that we are of an age where funerals will become more and more common and we will face funerals of parents, and siblings, and friends, and us.

I don't feel I have any brilliant observations about death to share. With the billions of stories happening all the time, there are so many other people who have much more experience and insight than I have. I can say that I didn't cry until I was driving home and thinking about the BTVS episodes where Buffy's mom dies. I've always thought the writers captured the loss and grief and the surreal sense that just outside the bubble of mourning is a world that's going on about its business as if nothing is different. And even though Sandy's family knew that this could happen suddenly, nobody is ever really fully prepared and she was the sort of person who would be deeply missed because she was a loving wife, mother, grandmother and friend to those who knew her.

Farewell, Sandy.

May the Blessings Be.
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