January 29, 2009: On Wednesday, all 188 Republican members of the House of Representatives voted to continue the country's disastrous economic downturn, but were thwarted by the Democrats, who passed President Obama's $819 economic stimulus plan on to the Senate.
"This is a big setback to our efforts to sink America into destructive social chaos," House Minority Leader John Boehner would have admitted if such candor ever actually occurred in Washington. "Now it's up to Mitch McConnell to kill all hope for economic recovery. If he can't, we could tragically be facing years of increasing prosperity during a Democratic administration."
Another sign of waning Right-wing repression was the Republican failure to block the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which even garnered Republican votes. "I can't believe that all four female Republican senators voted for fair pay," grumbled an anonymous source. "Can't they see the slippery slope in benefiting women, minorities, and wage-earners in the middle and lower classes? If you let some of them have justice, pretty soon everybody wants it. How is that fair to wealthy white men?"
The anonymous source went on to promise that despite these recent failures, the GOP will continue working to prevent the Democrats from making things better for the majority of Americans.