evannichols (evannichols) wrote,

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We Played, and It Was Fun.

GolfI rarely tell people I play golf. Real Golfers might think I'm one of them, and want to tell me their stories. And honestly, someone else's golf stories are as boring as someone else's dreams.

Saying I play golf is on par with calling someone who does a few 3K races each year a runner. I don't play at standard courses; for me, it's Dude Golf at McMenamin's Edgefield. It's not Mini-Golf, with windmills and chutes (although I like that sometimes, too). Edgefield is a 3-par course, which means the average distance from tee to hole is 65 yards. It's like Muffins. You know how the top part of the muffins are the best bit? Well, Kitchen-Equipment Manufacturers make shallow muffin tins, so the muffins are all tops. Why not just eat the really good part? A 3-par course is like that. You get to tee-off, and then you're probably right on the green, so you can just putt from there. You skip 100-500 yards of boring drives per hole. The Fun Quotient is much, much higher.

But the main thing that keeps me from being a "Golfer" is that I don't care about golf when I'm not playing. Not at all. I know nothing about Professional Golf, I don't surf golf websites, and I don't trade golf-related stories. I once worked at a client site near a cluster of Guys Who Loved Golf. Whenever one of them played, he would tell the others about the game, to the level of describing each stroke on every hole. Fortunately, I had a portable CD player, so I could drown out the noise. Otherwise, I'd be forced to retaliate by telling all of them my dreams.

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