Well, I get a lot of requests from my fans for more information about me, so I thought I'd fill out one of those surveys that gets forwarded on the Internet. I chose the most common one:
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Gemini
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? a white '85 Toyota Corolla
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Um, my mouse?
GIVE YOUR LIFE HISTORY IN FIFTY WORDS OR LESS: Childhood as gifted student in Prescott, Arizona public schools, Lewis & Clark Theater Major, California and computer job, Oregon and more computer work, won award for it, homeowner, married, consultant, burgeoning writer, Y2K, non-homeowner, non-married, unemployed, moved in with sister, Alaska computer job, novel, between clients again, back to writing!
CURRENT LIVING ARRANGEMENT? Sharing 4-bedroom house with my sister drarwenchicken
and her SO John in SE Portland.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? "My legs!! What happened to MY LEGS??!!" Sorry, just kidding; usually it's "Oh, god, now what?"
FAVORITE COLOR? Blue
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Now that I have caller-id, either two rings, or it goes to the answering machine.
WHAT IS ONE THING ABOUT YOU THAT IS TOTALLY UNIQUE: I'm the first human recipient of an artificial appendix.
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE? One of the alive ones (ha! I love that joke!). Seriously, I'd like to find out if Thomas Jefferson was as cool as I think he was.
WHAT WAS THE BEST JOB YOU'VE EVER HAD? Phone support for the National Alphabetization Hotline. People would call, and I'd help them with alphabetical order, like "antiquities" comes after "antiquated". It was exhausting, but at the end of the day, you really felt you'd made the world a better place.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB(S) YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? If I had my way, each morning I'd wake up and ask myself "What do I want to do TODAY?" And no matter what it was, I could do it. So I want to be independently wealthy. As a JOB, I would put "Writer."
IF YOU WERE A SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLE, WHAT ONE WOULD YOU BE? A boson, I guess.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? The glass is engineered with additional capacity to allow for variances in through-put.
FAVORITE MOVIE: Tough one, there are so many I really like. Princess Bride, or Labyrinth.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Of course.
FAVORITE SOUND? The can opener, I always come running (no, wait, that's the cats...)
WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE 19TH CENTURY SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY AND WHY? William Windom, mostly for his reduction of debt and policy on issuing silver certificates.
IF YOU WERE TRAPPED ON A DESERT ISLAND WITH ANYONE YOU CHOSE, WOULD YOU SHARE THE COST OF INTERNET SERVICE? Sure, unless they were really rich.
IN A MAYORAL ELECTION BETWEEN A MONKEY (REPUBLICAN), A PENGUIN WITH A GUN (DEMOCRAT) OR A COFFEE GRINDER (INDEPENDENT), WHO WOULD WIN? The monkey, but I'd vote for the penguin.
IF YOU HAD SUPERPOWERS, LIKE BEING ABLE TO HOLD YOUR BREATH FOR A REALLY, REALLY LONG TIME AND FINDING A PARKING SPACE ANY TIME YOU WANTED, WOULD YOU USE YOUR POWERS FOR GOOD OR EVIL? Good, unless my power was to secretly make people do a silly little dance.
IF YOU HAD A PET NEWT, WHAT WOULD YOU NAME HIM? Merlin.
WHAT WOULD YOU NAME A PET ARMADILLO? Nugent.
OK, HOW ABOUT A PET SQUIRREL? Spartacus. Can we move along?
SORRY. HOW WOULD YOUR FRIENDS DESCRIBE YOU? The adjective that gets tossed about the most is "amazing." They also use words like "genius," "funny," "sincere," "god-like," "throbbing," and "nice." They tell others that I'm the sort who wouldn't shortchange an old person unless they were being really annoying, that I am both reliable and
spontaneous. They'll tell the story about the time I rescued a busload of nuns, orphans, and kittens, and refused to sell the movie rights because I didn't want the publicity. They call me a rebel that plays by his own rules, wild, untamed, and yet an innocuous homebody.
WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST CONTRIBUTION TO HUMANITY? Wow, lots to choose from, but I'd say "No-Pants Tuesday." Current Mood: hopeful