evannichols (evannichols) wrote,

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I Would Be a Good King

When I Am King, one of the many decrees that will be cheered by all my subjects and cause me to be Beloved Throughout The Land will be the forbidding of Christmas Carol Hijacking. Perhaps Advertisers will be allowed to use holiday music in a commercial soundtrack, but no one, and I do mean no one, may change the lyrics to promote their products.

I love Christmas Carols. I don’t mind when they’re the song stuck in my head (assuming this happens in the appropriate period between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day). But I despise having my brain endlessly repeat some jingle proclaiming the glories of wireless service because it’s been attached to a favorite carol like some life-draining parasite.

I know, that’s what advertisers want. They consider perniciously embedding their slogans and catchphrases into my head to be a good thing. But one day, the punishment for this will be confinement in a small room with a phlegmatic man who clears his throat every ten seconds. Cruel, yes; but how else will they learn?

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